He looks so official
So, now that I have eaten myself into a comatose state, I am now moved on to stage 2 of “my” grieving. Stage 2: Spend Money. I didn’t say that these stages were healthy nor productive, but for some reason… this is what happens, so hang in there. Yesterday was the BIG purchase… the sewing machine. I have wanted one for a while now and we have been looking at them online, stores etc. Thinking it will be “therapeutic” to sew myself through the next few months… I made the purchase. Being as “obsessive/compulsive” as I can be at time, I immediately made “Beeb” a dress. I mean, I attempted to make “Beeb” a dress. It is still in the works, but it did keep me busy for hours! I love it! Now, when he gets home from the mountains of Georgia and the swamps of Florida… I will be able to sew him a pretty dress. Now, there are many levels to “Stage 2″… I made the “big” purchase, so today was little stuff; take Elijah on “date day”, lunch together, movie, goodies etc. “Stage 2” usually last approximately 3 days, but we will see this time. “Stage 4” is a little rough. I become completely “domestically challenged.” As in, I can’t put away a dish, fold a pair of underwear, cook a meal or even think about putting away laundry. This phase can be the longest. I’m trying really hard to fight this one. I know I am already a bit “challenged” in this area, so when it hits this level it gets dangerous! So, please let me know if anyone notices my kids wearing the same clothes for more than 4 days in a row and if they start to have a slight stinch about them.
All jokes aside, I haven’t heard anything from Brian as of today. I do think Karma is a bitch. I’m not sure how many people know this, but the NIGHT BEFORE he left for Ranger School, I pushed Elijah’s trundle on his foot and peeled back his big toenail about halfway… blood everywhere… total mess. Yesterday, half of my lil toenail got ripped off. I think it is Karma’s way of saying, “Even though you didn’t mean it… you will feel his pain every day!” I try to read online what he will be doing today. It just isn’t like they have an “agenda” for Ranger School. I just know whatever he is doing, it sucks.
I did get the “daddy dolls” ordered as well as “flat daddy.” I am sure “flat daddy” will be making many appearances on the Blog. It is a life size (yes, life size) poster of “daddy” waist up so we can take him to functions and put him in pictures! I have a feeling our “flat daddy” maybe making many trips out and about with us. This could be fun! the kids are doing well, but Elijah is still struggling. I think the “flat daddy” will give him some entertainment. He keeps wanting to tell Brian things, so he is going to start writing stuff for him in a book. He got to watch a litter of pigs be born at Rae’s. He was so excited about that. Then, today when we had dinner with Sara and Tatum, she gave him an FBI hat and you would’ve thought he was given a million bucks! So, with the hat plus his “fake mustache collection” he is in full out top secret mode. Totally undercover… it’s awesome. Evie is still carrying around her “daddy book” and we talk about him everyday… all day. She did say “milky” yesterday, which was kinda a big deal. I think she is a litle bully though. She may only be 16 mths old and weigh 20 lbs., but she is a sassy lil sucker! She wasn’t very nice to Sara’s little girl tonight and that makes me a little nervous. So sorry Sara that my kid was such a stink and decided to smack “T” the whole time. I’m so gonna beat her butt later (that is a joke… I haven’t got to “stop laughing” phase yet.)
Now for the wrap up… I just can’t believe I haven’t talked to him since Friday. When he was in Basic I went months without talking to him. But it was so different them. I had to “make” myself hate him before he left therefore it was easier for me when he was gone. I didn’t depend on him them like I do now. I just want him to make me laugh, because he is so good at that. I want to be able to tell him that Evie was a spicy lil thing today and hear him chuckle at the stories about her. I want to hear him playing Mario Cart on the Wii with Elijah… saying “you cheated… no YOU cheated!!” I just keep saying to myself, I love him, I miss him and I am so proud of him. He amazes me everyday and I admire him so much.